Apr 30 2009
If I had a moose
I would really want to see
If he would wear a hat
Fancy as could beIf I had a mouse
I would really love to hear
Him climb up on my arm
And sniffle in my earIf I had a cow
I would really love to tell
Her cuddly little calf
To raise a little hellAnd if I had much sense
I probably should not write
Poems for my kids
‘Cuz this one’s not quite right.
Apr 29 2009
| Zits are fun Zits are cool If I didn’t have none well … probably not have as much fun in front of the mirror at night. |
picture credit: Mike “Dakinewavamon” Kline
Apr 29 2009
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Apr 23 2009
“I just took a big turd and it hurt!”
I turned from my computer to see my eight-year old son standing in the doorway to the bathroom, clothed like he was the moment he was born, grinning from ear to ear with a glint in his eye.
“What?!” I asked, incredulously.
“Yea, I did,” he laughed as he looked to his left toward the freshly filled commode. “Come and see.”
“I don’t want to see your poop!” I exclaimed.
“Yea, come on, it’s as big as your computer mouse.”
“Are you okay?” I asked.
He had said it hurt.
“Yea,” he said as he turned toward his older brother. “Spencer, come check out the big turd I took.”
Spencer reacted pretty much the same way I did.
Aiden then ran out into the living room to announce his feat to his oldest brother and mother, neither of which would come and look.
Of course he was laughing the whole time, showing all of us what his butt must have looked like during the momentous event. Despite having flashbacks to my anatomy class in college, it really was quite hysterical.
So, after finding no takers on his invitation to view the masterpiece, he came back and focused on me.
“Come on, dad, it’s almost completely covered by toilet paper.”
and
“It’s short and that’s probably why it is so fat.”
and
“Come on, it’s funny.”
and
“It looks like a slimy dead rat.”
All the while I’m thinking I did not teach this to my boy, so how is it he is so bent on having us view his poop? “He’s a boy” is the only thing I could come up with. I mean is it just in the genes of most guys to want to show, view, provide, make, or in some manner deal with stinky, gross stuff every now and again?
So, what did I do?
I gave in.
Serenaded by his giggles, I slowly walked into the restroom, giving him the I-can’t-believe-I-am-doing-this-stare, looked in the bowl and eyed the little turd monster he was so proud of.
“Cool, huh?” he said.
“Aiden, you have taken all but a few words from me.”
I must admit that I was all smiles. Shaking my head at him, but definitely all smiles.
“What are those?”
“I love you to death but why, oh why, did you make me look at your poop?”
He just laughed and ran off.
photo credit ndrwfgg
Apr 20 2009
| is there a way for me to join you out there in that place |
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photo credit Mzelle Biscotte
Apr 17 2009
I followed her into the kitchen, where she pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and explained to me how she discovered a print out of a picture from the internet in my second-grade son’s pocket. Turns out one of his buddies gave it to him at school.
It wasn’t bad. A picture of three young, tan, women from behind. Wearing thong bikinis. You could see from the backs of their knees to the middle of their backs. Three firm butts nicely poised in a row.
“I’m giving this to his teacher and asking her to deal with that boy,” Jessica said to me, speaking of the boy who shared this treasure with our son.
So, after some contemplation, I called Aiden out to the living room and the three of us sat down to discuss the picture. I explained how we have to be careful about pictures on the internet; how we must see girls and women for who they are and not just what a part of their body looks like.
“We see so much of this on television, in magazines and in movies that we have to be careful to honor girls for the type of person they are, not just because of how sexy we think they are,” I said.
Right then Aiden scrunched up his face and looked at me like I was some kind of freak.
I laughed and asked, “Well, what did you think when you saw that picture?”
“I thought GROOOSSSS!” he replied.
I think this whole thing revealed more about me than about anything else today.
photo credit: Sister72Apr 15 2009
| …if you have holes in your screen door from shooting last night’s beer cans off your back porch from the living room sofa? |
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Apr 14 2009
Wow. Check out this article on The Atlantic: “Caring for Your Introvert”
I’m not completely as described, but I have said much of this to my wife so many times it makes my head spin to think of it.
Now to have research back up what I have felt for a lifetime … hurts and feels good at the same time.
photo credit: foxspain
