Sep 10 2010

Divergence

Published by Mr. Nuggets at 5:24 PM under Because I Can

Davina, over at Shades of Crimson recently posted a creative writing challenge in which she suggested taking a list of 9 words to incorporate into a story/poem/whatever.  I’m a little late to the game and I went well over the one hundred word suggestion.  So, I can’t really consider this for submission.  Nevertheless, I had fun.

Below is a little ditty I threw together, with an alternate ending.  The words in bold were on the list.


Divergence

“We have to adjust,” he said from behind his morning newspaper.  “We have to move on.”

“How about pumpkin curry lentil soup tonight?” she said, ignoring him.

“It was a mistake.”

She glanced at him and opened the spice cabinet.

“Now where is that turmeric?”

“How long is this going to go on?” He lowered his paper and watched her.

A spider crawled along the floorboard near her foot.

Her ears were ringing. God she wanted a smoke.

“It’s like a life sentence here, babe.”

“Oh, here it is.” She swiped the spice bottle off the shelf.

“You couldn’t possibly think I meant to do it.” His voice was getting more intense, frantic.
She stared at the spider.

“Great, now we’ve got an audience,” she thought.

She crushed the spider with her bare foot and turned toward the far counter. The turmeric bottle slipped from her hand, breaking on the tile floor.  Tears welled up in her eyes as she grabbed the dish towel and bent to scoop up the mess.

“Hon, let me help you.” He was crouching near her, hand on her back.

She recoiled, pushing back against the cabinets. Weeping, she sat, pulling her knees to her chest, staring at the floor.  The beige floor.  Beige tiles.  Beige wallpaper.  Beige ceiling. Who the hell put all this beige in here?  It’s so damned…beige.

He finished wiping up the mess and tossed the dishrag into the washroom.  Turning to the breakfast table, he lit the candle.  She used to love candles.

She watched him blow out the match.  A tear ran down his cheek.

But, she didn’t care anymore.

He had killed her baby.

Alternate Ending:

He finished wiping up the mess and tossed the dishrag into the washroom.

Suddenly she farted loudly. I mean, amazingly so.  He lit a match and they both had a big laugh and made dinner together.


photo credit: Steve Corey

4 responses so far

4 Responses to “Divergence”

  1. Davinaon 10 Sep 2010 at 5:24 PM

    Hah hah… I’m laughing like crazy right now because I just read the alternate ending. OMG… hilarious :-) *giggle*

    This is great! I’m so glad you jumped into this challenge. I absolutely love your version of the nine words. Who cares if you went over the 100 word limit. This was fantastic. You KNOW how to tell a story. Awesome.

  2. Patriciaon 10 Sep 2010 at 7:53 PM

    Wow this is good story telling and Davina’s nine words just look wonderful in print and reading

    Thank you good ideas, fine writing and even a good laugh – who could ask for more?

  3. Mr. Nuggetson 11 Sep 2010 at 9:51 AM

    Davina and Patricia,

    I am honored you took the time to read this little travesty…and thrilled you enjoyed it.

    Thank you!

  4. Ekologiston 20 Nov 2011 at 8:51 PM

    Hah hah… I’m laughing like crazy right now because I just read the alternate ending. OMG… hilarious *giggle*
    +1

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